Wednesday, July 06, 2005



Well dip me in icing sugar and call me Mary, the 2012 Olympics are coming to Weymouth. I am so happy, in fact, I can hardly go to the toilet properly.

In the Olympic spirit, I wonder how much I can get if I rent my house out for the duration?


Watching rubbish satellite television so you don’t have to.

TBN Europe – Channel 674: I’m going to be awfully specific here, as I don’t make a point of watching the religious channels, simply because they are all the proof you need that the Devil really does have all the best tunes.

However, I implore you to watch at 9am on Saturdays (just set the video, then) for Bibleman – the Good Book-bashing superhero. It’s Star Wars meets Batman meets Songs of Praise and it’s really, really brilliant*. Every episode ends with an earnest “Hey kids…” bit to camera.

For my lucky, lucky American readers, it is my happy duty to report, from viewing the Bibleman website, that our hero is on tour at a church near you. Get along there and repent – OR ELSE!

However, I would like to ask the question that all superheroes should be made to answer: “How to you go to the toilet in that get-up?”

* shit

Stupid job titles

I recently saw an advert on the job pages for a "Hydro-Ceramic Technician"

In other words, someone to do the washing-up in a restaurant for five quid an hour.

And poor the Austen Manungo – he even gets his own bottle-washing web page. God, I hope they’re being “ironic”.

Killing Dumbledore

Following yesterday's triumph at the hands of a Pratchettised Death, today, I have been mostly killing off Hogwarts' senior wizard in the style of a World War II sitcom. Watch out for ze Fallen Madonna with ze Big Boobies, Albus!

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