Escape from Hell
Today I shall be mostly taking the final exam in my Open University degree course. Six years of hard slog, falling asleep over bone-dry text books on modes of governance in the European Union, and with a bit of luck I should be S. Duck BSc (Hons), Dip Pol, Cert Soc Sci (Open) by the end of the year.
So, the best part of the afternoon will be spent writing three essays (with a PEN – are they mad?) on the construction of identities, meaning and their implications on modern society and media. If I mention the words “Foucaultian” and “discourse” often enough, I should be fine.
One of my essays this year included a deconstruction of Brass Eye and The Day Today as a satire on modern news, with frequent references to “The Bad AIDS”, “Nonce Sense” and “Cake”. It got 85 per cent, which proves that even OU lecturers have a sense of humour.
Back into Hell, again
Somebody in Another Place recently pointed out how wicked the word “wicked” is, especially when used in its original context. He’s right, y’know…
The LORD said unto Moses
"If a man marries both a woman and her mother, it is wicked."
And Moses said unto the LORD
And the LORD sayeth unto Moses
“No, you bloody idiot. I’m saying it’s BAD.”
And Moses said again unto the LORD
“Too bloody right it’s bad, you won’t believe the amazing thing that happened to me the other day. I was alone in the tent and the wife’s mother came round to muck out the donkeys. I never realised how sexy she was until I saw her with that shovel…”
And the LORD shaketh His head and goes off to find another chosen people.
I know… first class to Hull, please.
Not Hell , at all
Joy asks "If you could uninvent something, what would it be?" I'm personally thinking of "New" Labour, or shiny white toilet paper. Don't just sit there - suggest her up!