The Thursday vote-o of woe, and more woe

The Thursday vote-o of woe, and more woe

Wednesday was a strange day to say the least.

Firstly, there was the Happy Dance-inducing news that my BBC colleague Alan Johnston was released by his captors in Gaza, closely followed by the surreal experience of being recognised in public as Scaryduck, blogger and genius whilst trying to escape from the mean dog-crap strewn streets of Southampton.

And then, the excellent Rikaitch got in touch.

"Why don't you," he asked, "do the old style Thursday vote-os?"

"Muh?" I replied not completely up to speed.

"You know - the one where you've got to add words into the story. It was excellent."

I remember full well how excellent it was. Excellent to the point where I had to sit up half the night re-writing a complete Tale of Mirth and Woe to include the phrase "And then I inserted a pomegranate up her mimsy" just to win some stupid online bet.

So, having explained the potential for utmost woe to him, I agreed.

Oh, God.

So. There is - for once - a Thursday Vote-o today. Old skool.

Choose from the three stories listed below, and suggest a word or short phrase that I must include in the tale for fear of being labelled a wet and a weed chiz chiz. The vote-o quote-os are stolen from the internet in the finest tradition of stealing-from-the-internet.

M. le Maire: "Why would anyone build a robot that looks exactly like Kylie Minogue?" he asked. The answer was all too obvious: "Can you imagine someone who could, and didn't?"

Embarrassment: I once had a totally irrational lust for Princess from The Battle of the Planets. Hot chicks in mini-dresses, you see. Then I discovered the Grattan catalogue.

I was a Teenage Bomber II: "I think there's something fishy going on. First somebody's been stealing milk from my part of the fridge WITHOUT ASKING. And now Catherine Tate's going to be in Doctor Who. It's a conspiracy, I tell you."

Choose, then, and make my life hell.