On inappropriate text messages
The SMS message.
The cutting edge of man's ingenuity, keeping citizens in touch with a grammar-free communication service wherever they are on the planet.
97 per cent of world diplomacy is now carried out via text message. A potential nuclear showdown with Iran was recently defused when President Ahmadinejad send a last minute "LOL" just as the bombers were taking off from an airfield just outside Tel Aviv.
With such technology comes responsibility. The standard text message should not be used in the domestic situation, for example, to inform a daughter - holidaying with her grandparants - that her pet Crackers Aguilera has shuffled off this mortal coil in the company of the Grim Squeaker, and is lying at the bottom of her cage, stiff as a board, covered in maggots and looking like a used tampon.
"UR MOUSE IS DED. LOL"
I think we handled that little family hiccup pretty well, if you ask me.
And no, I didn't send it. Oh, Mrs Duck...
Poor, dead Crackers Aguilera. The Duck family Boot Hill is getting alarmingly full these days.