On breaking the house rules again again
House Rule update bulletin No. 1237/2008
Having a couple of blokes of the male persuasion in the house means that the toilet seat gets a bit crusty.
You know how these things happen - it's a long way down, and the aim of late night/early morning number ones often leaves a lot to be desired.
However, I will maintain that the female population of our household is equally culpable, doing arcane no-tail things that are a mystery to the male species, and failing to report "splashback" incidents.
Anyway, getting to the point, my charming wife went out over the weekend and bought a brand new toilet seat, the cause for an annual household celebration following the ritual exorcism of the old one, which is now landfill of the Island of Portland.
And - HEY, WOW - she's really pushed the boat out and bought one of those dreadfully flashy slow-closing lids.
She had barely tightened the retaining bolts when the lad Scaryduck Junior and I invented a new game. It is called The Finish Your Wee Before The Slow-Closing Toilet Seat Closes Game, and the rules are as simple as you might imagine.
Nobody - as yet - has lost a round of The Finish Your Wee Before The Slow-Closing Toilet Seat Closes Game.
Alas, we might never know, for and official edict has been passed down and added to the Official Rules Of This Household:
Rule 1237/2008: The playing of The Finish Your Wee Before The Slow-Closing Toilet Seat Closes Game is punishable by a bog brush up the chuff.
So mote it be.