On my most humiliating experience
Scaryduck Junior here again, King of LULZ, filling in for the Duck who is no longer funny.
I may only be twelve years old, but I am a bigger genius than my rubbish dad, and am so clever that I have already been on Dragons' Den with one of my EXCELLENT inventions.
As my idiot father says: "This time next year, Rodders, we'll be millionaires". Which is rubbish, because my name isn't Rodders. It's Junior. But, I took my BRILLIANT idea up to London to show to a load of rich types off the telly.
Anyway, imagine, if you will, a fine-looking young teen, decked out in his best school blazer, going up those famous stairs above a kebab shop in the East End of London, for that is where the Dragons have their Den.
"What ho, young man!" say one of the suits, thinking I will be a pushover like that Reggae Reggae Sauce man, "What have you got for us today?"
I drew myself up to my full height, and showed them: The Building Material Of The Future.
By their silence and the way they were fingering big wads of fifties, I knew they were impressed, but I remembered my dad's advice in the face of the big guns: "Hold out for a monkey, son", whatever that meant.
"So, what you're telling us," says the man who is so rubbish he owns Millwall Football Club, "is that you've built a helicopter out of 300 tons of Blu-Tac?"
Caught like a Treen in a disabled space cruiser. "Yes. Yes I am."
Forced into a corner, I accidentally let slip the one, great design flaw in the design for my helicopter: Every time I land, it gets stuck to the ground.
Also, you can't fly it in the rain, on account of the toilet rolls.
"I'll give you a monkey", said the Millwall guy, as I retreated to the sound of laughter and cries of "Get out of my sight, before we set loose the hounds".
I let down the tyres on his Blu-Tac Bentley. That learned him.
What, I ask, has been your greatest humiliation?