Thursday, June 17, 2004

An Illustrated Life

An Illustrated Life

Scaryduck: Now with Mobloggy goodness. That's a weblog full of photos for those of you who don't speak fluent geek. You may even get to see what I look like.

No Thursday vote-o today as I'm hellishly busy and will impose an unused story on you lot tomorrow. Instead, take a look at this little number I tossed off while waiting for a train...

Diary of a Superhero

Up with the lark and ready to save the world again. See that Superman's been putting himself about again, the glory-seeking bastard. Helped Mrs Brzezicki get her cat out of a tree, and hung around the mall will Hyperboy until the security guards made us leave. I'll give those fascists "Rag Week". The Batphone hasn't rung for two weeks now. Bored. Let Alfred wear the Batsuit tonight, he seems to like it.

Mrs Brzezicki was at my door today in the shortest skirt I have ever seen. My X-Ray Bat-vision told me she was also wearing the crotchless knicks again. It must be hell living with incontinence. Rescued her cat from a tree again, while she wittered on endlessly about my hairy bat-chest and smooth, manly pants-on-the-outside costume. Still nothing on the Batphone. Caught Robin in a compromising position with a piece of liver. Tenderising it for dinner, my arse.

Liver for dinner, took to my bed early and wanked myself senseless over Wonder Woman. Will this torture never end?

Digusted yet? Continues over on Robber Rabbit.

Childhood Heroes

Number 1: Windy Miller

A man of very few words who diced with death every time he left his front door. Had no mouth, and wore a hat which was the prototype for Oddjob's in the film Goldfinger.

Carried on a torrid affair with Mrs Dingle the postmistress, until he walked in her her getting a spitroast from Captain Snort or PC McGarry (Number 452). Often seen at Pippin Fort, where his "Last Turkey in the Shop" always went down a treat with the troops.

Highlight episode: his award-winning performance in the 1967 Camberwick Green classic "Windy punches Mrs Honeyman in the nadger."

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