Saturday, June 12, 2004


With the Eurovision Song contest come and gone with barely a flicker, it is time we sat down and asked ourselves the questions that really matter in the world of cheese-flavoured entertainment:

Who'd win a fight between The Dooleys and the Nolan Sisters?

Obviously, it would be just a little one-sided, so I'm more than willing to allow the Nolan girls to recruit a few friends in the shape of Leo Sayer and a lightly-oiled Noosha Fox to even things up. But when all is said and done our experts are still convinced there can be only one outcome: a resounding victory for The Dooleys, with the Nolans not being in the mood for dancing for a long time to come.

After all, it is clear from this evidence that they are all hairy-arsed builders in drag, bringing the serious art of z-list celebrity brawling down to the farcical levels of heavyweight boxing. A sad day for sport.

I am not mad.

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