You layabouts will never know the meaning of hard work until, like Mrs Duck and I, you have carried a sixty inch mattress up a flight of stairs with a fifty-eight inch hole at the top*. [The trick is to jump on the thing and hog-tie the bastard with a handy rope and drag it up the stairs until your hands bleed.]
The result is this: five months after Useless Workshy Cunt Of A Builder (“You’ll be up there by September”, he lied, sunning himself in the garden) walked out on the contract, we finally have a bedroom.
Worst night’s sleep. Ever. Damn you UWCOAB!
*Typing on a keyboard with no functioning spacebar is no holiday either
Hail the Twat!
Congrats an' stuff to Zoe MyBoyfriendIsATwat for winning the Best European Weblog in this year's Bloggie awards. I'm sure Zoe would be the first to acknowledge that she would be nowhere without her man. There. Being a twat. Let's hear it for Quarsan!
I am not pissed off in the slightest that I didn't win the Best Make-Up in a Musical award for the second year running.
Sorry, something got stuck in my throat there.