Neither Big Nor Clever

Neither Big Nor Clever

The other day, I was faced with another of those heart-stopping moments that all parents of pre-teen childs dread.

"Hey dad," said Scaryduck Junior.

"What is is son - can't you see I'm trying to get a decent freeze-frame of Kirstie Allsopp here?"

"I know what BMW stands for."

Uh oh.

"Batman's Willy."

Thank God for that, I thought he was going to say something disgusting. However, I was under the impression that it meant Bob Marley and the Wailers.

"John says it stands for Black Man's Wanger."

Pffffffffffffffffffffft....

I'm hardly one to talk. at around his age, I'd got my grubby hands on a Speak and Spell machine - the cutting edge of microchip technology from the kings of the LED display, Texas Instruments.

Speak & Spell!

"Spell 'SCHOOL'"

"W"

"A"

"N"

"K"

"E"

"R"

"Incorrect - that is not how you spell 'school'. Try again."

"F"

"U"....

My place in hell assured from an early age.

No Thursday vote-o today - we're doing the eyebrows thing on Friday. Mirth, woe and huge, destructive fireballs guaranteed.

Somebody's bound to e-mail me this for some reason - take the Are You A Duck? Test. I am, you will be pleased to hear, mostly a duck.