Tuesday, June 28, 2005

On Science, again again

On Science, again again

Further to my recent post on Coleman’s Housework Paradox, my research has also led me to study related discourses on the nature of power within the modern household in a work entitled Coleman’s Household Regulation Law. These analyses into the inequalities surrounding the domestic male/female power nexus in the context of bathroom habits has led me to publish my latest theories in the New England Journal of the Bleeding Obvious.

In particular:

All household rules are explicitly unwritten to make it all your fault. Any rules that are written down for clarification purposes immediately become null and void.

Even if you are not present at a bathroom "incident", either through your negligence, inaction or just simply by existing, it’s all your fault.

Rules may be changed to contradict previous rules, at any time, with no notice whatsoever, making it all your fault.

Don't leave the seat up.

Don't leave the seat down.

Don't take the seat off and hide it behind the bath panel, either. That's just being awkward.

That's enough "science" for now. I'm not allowed.

Won’t anyone think of the children?

Where’s Geldof when you need him? Instead of all this poncing about with Annie Lennox and other acts that dropped off the Radio Two playlist years ago, he ought to be stopping this hideous black market, cashing in on the misery of others.

It's foul, that's what it is. They'll be giving Les Ferdinand an MBE next...

Great Unanswered questions

Thing like this keep me awake at night. Pity me.

If Queen Sofia only married Juan Carlos II to cover up his homosexuality, would that make her the King of Spain’s beard?

I'll get me coat...


Wanabehuman is the best new blog I've read for quite some time. And I'm not just saying that because Mr Wanabehuman is sitting not ten feet from me as I type this, oh no!

The site features excellent, intelligent writing - a rarity in these days of slapdash blogging, full of cuss-words and content designed purely to slip the words "Natasha Kaplinsky naked" higher up the google rankings - from our very own cub reporter in the World Media office. Mr Wanabehuman is also appealing for new writers for his project. One to watch.

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