I had a letter in Viz once. This is it:
What a load of rubbish these "old wives tales" are.
Yesterday, whilst admiring a particularly beautiful sunset, I heard an old wife saying "red sky at night, shepherd's delight". The next morning, her husband - who happens to be a shepherd - was tragically killed in a bizarre spacehopper accident.
Hardly reason to be delighted, I'm sure you'll agree.
Dan Prick, Reading
From that comedic high-point, it's been downhill all the way. So, from this tenuous link, do you have any Viz-style top tips to share?
"Courting couples! Save money on contraception by simply turning your Rubber Johnny inside out after you've used it."