After my starring performance on Al-Jazeera this week (see if you can spot my gorgeous features in this here Flickr set from the lovely people at the Al-Jazeera staff blog), it's time to show those Yankee imperialist pig-dogs and their puppet regime in Downing Street the true meaning of democracy.
Vote! Vote for tomorrow's Scary Story! Vote now, or its some secret prison camp in Romania where they send the Cheeky Girls to felch you to death with a straw. And ...oooohhh... it's a celebrity special:
* Pole-Dancing: "When he eventually came to, he realised that the hazy memory of masturbating himself to a frenzy in the centre circle during the FA Cup Final had not been some terrible dream. He had no choice. He would ask Sir Alex for a transfer straight away."
* The Operator: "Clutching the small bag containing Kirstie Allsopp's nail clippings, he headed back to his secret lab chuckling to himself. Yes, by tomorrow, Lord Archer would posses an army of Allsopps, all ready to do his terrible, terrible bidding."
* Dazed and Confused: "Fuckin' hell Felicity," Penelope Keith moaned, "I'm sick to death of rubbing up against this bollard. Can't I have a go on Professor Hawking now?"
* Potman: "Dogs! Is there no end to these awful, awful dogs!" David 'The Duke' Dickinson said to himself as he stumbled into the hospital's casualty unit. He would rue the day, he reflected, that he should choose to pursue his flashing hobby outside Crufts.
* Outhouse: "Poor Linford Christie. The invitation from the Palace specifically requested that he should bring his own refreshments. And now, his lunch was there, sitting on the kitchen table, but it was becoming increasingly apparent that he had nothing to carry it in."
And now, you may reward yourself with my flu-ridden Tunisia photos.
November saw the most hits to this site in a calendar month ever ever ever, with one thousand of you arriving here every day. At least some of you even stopped to read the contents, though I'm pretty sure that the manky devil who arrived here from google looking for "Penelope Keith naked" went away disappointed.
Thank you for your support,