Thursday, April 06, 2006

Worst Computer Games Ever

Worst Computer Games Ever

Soviet TV shows. Nazi TV shows. Tourette's TV shows. Been there done that. Now, the Scrappy Doo of the genre - time to completely wreck a good idea.

Computer games can be very excellent. I once failed my A-Levels simply because I couldn't tear myself away from Elite on the BBC Micro. Now, Nintendogs is doing the same to my children. Yay for modern technology!

However, there is a seedy underbelly to the whole business. I once bought a flight simulator for my Beeb on the strength of its own advertising copy claiming it to be the best flight simulator ever made. It wasn't, and it probably remains the one and only text-based flight simulator ever to hit the market.

But, hey! We can do worse. Much worse! I asked a bunch of layabouts in Another Place to come up with the worst computer games ever, and they done me proud. Here:

* Stick Simulator II
* Alan Titchmarsh Weeding Extreme
* Nintendslugs

* Brokeback Mountain: Fists of Fury
* Brokeback Mountain : Poke a man
* Street Sweeper 2

* Deaf Dumb and Blind Simulator 2: No sense of touch
* Store Wars: ASDA rolls back
* Cistern Shock

* Michael Barrymore's Pool
* Grand Theft Auto: Milton Keynes
* Eminem's Beatnik Poetry Slam!

* Stephen Hawking Extreme Wheelchair
* The Rev. Iain Paisley's Text Adventure
* Gary Glitter: Wrestlin' With Kids.

* Clive Dunn's "They Don't Like It Up 'Em"
* Deluxe Allah Cartoon Maker 7
* Virtual Woolworths

* Real Life

That last one will never catch on. In lieu of a Thursday vote-o, Suggest-o!

No respect for the dead

Poor, poor G. Pitney.

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