On Buzzword Bingo
Straight out of the top of Chris Morris's brains, actual genuine claptrap I've heard with my own ears recently:
"You are obviously not wearing a can-do headset"
"Hit me with your mind bullets"
"And if you have any ideas for our culture-change programme, you can download your brain to our thought-shower wiki."
"We need to be a kettle that rolls with the punches or the pot will be calling us black"
"No-one gives a honey-roasted fuck about your idea."
and, of course, the classic:
"Remember - there's no 'I' in team"*
Things went downhill from there…
I'm still hoping to throw in a "Let's plant a few idea trees and see if the dog of opportunity pisses up them" at some stage, nanoseconds before my sacking.
So: Be a pro-active team player and add your own buzzword bullshit.
* The answer to this being, of course, "Yes, but there's a 'U' in cunt".
Also: Duck News on how we are taking the war to Vladimir Putin by farting in a jar. And you think I just make this crap up.