Fan mail! I've had genuine bona fide fan mail! Unfortunately it is not of the wanting-to-have-sex-with-me variety, neither is it from a large publishing house offering me a large pile of cash to cut-and-paste this website onto the buy-two-get-one-free shelf in WH Smiths. Bugger my luck.
"I'd love to see your play on that jumble of an Olympic logo", it said.
So would I, to be honest. Alas, my photoshopping sk1llz are neither l33t, nor are they any good; and those scamps at B3ta can - and have - done a far better job than I ever could.
Imagine, if you will, the heavily-copyrighted and trademarked Olympic rings with a heaving pair of bosoms, and you're getting pretty close to how my fevered imagination works. Or a crudely MS Painted version with a large, hairy phallus, and somebody being sick in a hedge. You're not missing much.
For those of you still desperate to see the quality of my photo-manipulating skills in action, I tossed of a little something that Harry Hill would have been proud of:
You're absolutely right. I'll stick to writing.
Condensed film tomorrow, anyone? Shawshank Redemption - The Empire Strikes Back - Doctor Who - Life on Mars. Your choice: vote-me-up, if you will; and yes, I am aware that two of those are TV serials.
Wednesdays are the new Thursday, you know.
Also: Kaptain Von's blog = excellent. And I shall fight anyone who says otherwise.