Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Good Karma / Bad Karma

Good Karma / Bad Karma

You might already know that the world we live in exists in a delicate karmic balance.

While you might think that this cause-and-effect stuff is just a load of hippie bollocks (and you'll end up stepping in a dog turd on the way home for harbouring such thoughts), I can offer you the real life example that proves the existence of Karma for once and for all:

A Day in the Life of S. Duck (Genius)

Good: Losing ten pounds in weight in little over a week
Bad: Your trousers falling down whilst running for the bus to Olympia Conference Hall in Kensington High Street because they no longer fit

Good: Cutting a new hole in your belt to stop your trousers from falling down in the middle of Kensington High Street when you run for a bus on the way home
Bad: Cutting a hole in your thumb whilst undertaking said belt maintenance

Good: Nice first aid lady at Olympia Conference Hall with a superb cleavage under a tight, white t-shirt
Bad: Antiseptic wipe dowsed in ground-up glass and battery acid

Good: Invited for a one-on-one patching-up-the-hole-in-your-finger session in tight white first aid lady's first aid room.
Bad: Your trousers falling down because you haven't quite got found to putting that extra hole in your belt, on account off all the blood

Good: Expenses-paid rail travel for the journey home
Bad: Expenses-paid rail travel that gets stuck behind signal failures for four hours, in which the younger, juicier passengers are sacrificed to feed those in first class

Good: Surprisingly good cooking facilities in the buffet car to avoid getting food poisoning from undercooked standard class passengers
Bad: Having to hide your wounded hand, just in case we are to kill and eat the old and infirm next

Good: Handy clean-up wipes for blood, gore
Bad: Unable to pass water in polite company, reduced to drinking some else's urine to survive

Good: Arriving back more-or-less in one piece, with a free cooked meal into the bargain
Bad: Unable to get a refund on your former fellow passenger's ticket stub

And so, the world's karmic balance is maintained. FOR NOW.

This actually happened, may a vengeful hippy strike me down dead with a vat of hummous if I am telling a word of a lie.

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