Wednesday, May 21, 2008

On having a reputation

On having a reputation

I don't know what kind of person you lot think I am.

I like to think of myself as a kind, caring family man with a talent for THE FUNNAY.

However, I am certain that others are of the opinion that I am slightly unhinged, harbouring an obsession for rich, brown vomit, bottoms and things that come out of bottoms.

These people are probably right.

That, then, explains, why a reader sent me a picture of a pool of vomit they photographed whilst on a trip to New York.

Graham went all the way to New York, saw vomit and thought of me. Pink vomit, at that.

Fair play to them, I thought, for including a pigeon in shot so the reader gets some idea of scale. [Warning: Picture contains vomit, pigeon saying 'Om nom nom nom pink vomit nom']

More tellingly, I immediately thought "They've been drinking red wine, that makes pink voms" because I have personal experience of the rosé deluge.

Tomorrow: "Hey Scary --- I done a fantastic poo last night that came out in the shape of Sarah Beeny. Here's a picture."

The day after tomorrow: Explaining to Mrs Duck why I broke my promise on no longer writing about waste bodily fluids

The day after that: "Dear The Dorset Echo --- Something involving public toilets, projectile vomit and Kylie Minogue, Yours etc, Kim Jong-Il"

No comments: