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"Fookin' fook off, I'll fookin' wear a fookin' Christmas hat if I fookin' want to cos it's fookin' Christmas you fookin' fookers."
This kind of language, I have learned from years of experience, is likely to see you ejected from Midnight Mass.
This kind of language also results in the knowledge that the Church of England - HOT CLERGY or no - employs bouncers.
"Forgive us our trepasses", my Aunt Fanny.
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