On difficult questions regarding cheese

On difficult questions regarding cheese

Entering into a new relationship, I have found myself asked a lot of difficult questions recently. For example:

"What is your stance on marmite?" (WIN)

"Milk in before tea, or after?" (LOSE)

But the one that really caught me on the hop was:

"Dessert or cheeseboard?"

I like dessert. But I also like cheeses. Can't a man, I ask, have both?

"No," she replies, "With a gun to your head: Dessert or cheeseboard?"

"Any reason for this?"

"Where eating out at that new Russian place round the corner," she tells me.

"Kalashnikov's?"

"Kalashnikov's. The maitre'd is a BASTARD."

"So I've heard," I reply, "people are paying top dollar to be seen there. In fact, dollars are all they'll take."

There is neither dessert nor cheeseboard. Only the smell of fear.