"Excuse me sir", said the man with the name badge, "I'd like to talk to you about Our Lord Jesus Christ""I'm sorry," I said, "But I'm an atheist."
A switch goes off in his head, and he loads his 'Dealing with Atheists' script.
"Are you sure you've made the right choice in rejecting God?" he asked.
I replied that yes, I am perfectly happy in my belief that I have no belief.
"You're playing with your immortal soul," he warned me, trying to scare me with eternal damnation with what little authority he possessed, "The Bible's not a game, you know."
"You mean like that film?"
"Wait ...what film?"
"Wargames: A strange game. The only winning move is not to pray."
"Sod. You."
PWNED: LIKE A BOSS
5 comments:
"The Bible's not a game."
Hmm...
Maybe it should be. Maybe we should get in touch with Waddingtons or Parkers and make a series of children's board games based around various religious and spiritual texts in order to try and reverse the steady decline in moral standards shown by the youth of the world today.
Suggestions, maybe?
I'll start with Theocracy - where you journey around a board (playing pieces - donkey, crucifix, menorah, crescent moon etc) according to the spin of a dreidel, with the chance to buy parts of a country - when you own all parts of a country you can build synagogues, churches and mosques and other people who land on them have to pay you manna. Some squares would have you read out a card containing various sura, psalms and verses from the Torah.
I'm sure it would be a hit.
nothing has not happened more than this
When did you 'reject' God, exactly? Surely, you not only rejected God, but Allah, Buddha, Hare Krishna, Frankie Cockozza, Jah Wobble and all other deities? I'm forcing my kids to reject Santa this year.
I'm quite content with my beliefs and feel no need to force them upon others. Nor do I wish anyone else's be forced on me.
The next time some God-botherer knocks on my front door I am going to ask, "Do you take the text of the Bible literally?"
And where they answer yes, which they WILL do, because only that type believes knocking on the doors of those perfectly happy with their own religious beliefs and annoying the shit out of them is a reasonable action, I will ask them:
"Then tell me where it is written in the Bible, New Testament or Old, that knocking on the doors of those perfectly happy with their own religious beliefs and annoying the shit out of them is a recommended method of Our Lord/God? Which chapter? Which verse?"
And then I shall quote from the Book of Dawn, in which it is written in chapter 1, verse 1, "Knock not on my door lest I knock on your head." which is the only language these curs, &tc., &tc...
I think TRT's on to something, but I'd suggest a first-person-POV shoot 'em up version. You know, with all sorts of gratuitous killing of atheists and infidels and whatnot. For added fun there could be a multiplayer version - you know, Jews vs. Muslims, Crusaders vs. Saracens, all the good stuff from history.
*possibly not the best idea ever
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