I hate the Daily Mail with a passion, and would not even sink so low as to wipe my arse on their tainted pages of hate and fear. I would be quite happy to see the whole of London destroyed in a firey nuclear inferno, safe in the knowledge that it has taken the Daily Mail with it.However, I see it as my duty to help their staff see the error of their ways, and encourage them to a life out in the real world.
Target No.1: Spunk thief Liz Jones
Dear Liz JonesThis time next year, Rodders, we'll be millionaires
Congratulations on your continuing success as a columnist in the Daily Mail! I have admired your work for some time, as you fight a personal battle against self-loathing and debt despite the extraordinary salary you draw from Britain's top online newspaper.
However, is it not time you stopped this dreadful charade and sought employ elsewhere? I note from your recent celebrated column, in which you admitted to stealing man gravy from your male partners that you have an interest in the reproductive arts.
Perhaps, then, you might wish to go into business, encouraging woman to get hold off spoodge in any (legal) manner they can, and lend it out to those most in need?
I propose we call this venture LIZ JONES JIZZ LOANS, and it's a sure-fire winner.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Be lucky.
Your new best pal
Albert O'Balsam
10 comments:
FURST!
LOANS?? - how long would you 'loan' spunk out for?
- it only survives a couple of days.
Who the f*** would want it?
More to the point, who the f*** would want it back?
I suppose if I buy shares in Turkey Basters...... This time next year Rodders etc.
Genius!
Name: Liz Jones
Occupation: journalist-cum-thief
Age: 72
Chosen specialized subject: recycling and re-using organic waste
http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2011/11/25/texan_ivf_case/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-15876968
She wouldn't be the first.
"Liz jones jizz loans"
fkn GENIUS :)
LJJL. Good job I'd put the wine down.
OMG - soooo funny Scary
100 points for excellent in Spoonerism.
-100 points for educating me as to who Liz Jones is.
F*ck. "Excellence" of course.
What is "hold off spoodge"? Is it spoodge that keeps men away? A sort of repulsion spoodge? How then would it be produced by men? Ahhhh, they'd ejaculate it toot sweet. Thus not prem ejac but hold off spoodge!
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