Monday, June 16, 2014

On not having a robot arm



I know that I sometimes weird people out with my sense of humour. It's rare that the boot ends up on the other foot.

It was at the doctor's surgery, where I turned up bright, fresh and starving first thing in the morning for a fasting blood test. Not a thing had touched my lips for 12 hours, and the weird factor was high.

After prodding around at my left arm, the nurse declared that she couldn't find a vein (not for the first time, either), and would move to the right.

"That's because it's my robot arm," I said, apropos of a quick laugh.

"Like Luke Skywalker?" she asked, "Lose it in a light sabre accident? I see that a lot."

I agreed that bizarre light sabre accidents were An Actual Thing in Fleet as I ignored the fact that she was removing a quantity of blood from my body.

"And have you brought a urine sample?"

"Why yes," I replied, "Although I cut out the middle man. That's just lager."

"I'll look forward to drinking it later."

Excuses, fled.

2 comments:

TRT said...

You know when you've been pwnd.

Aquarians Love To Cuddle said...

Ha!
Out Scary-ducked!
That sounds like my bedside manner! So much so that the Provincial College of Physicians and Surgeons no longer bothers to keep a file of the complaints lodged against me.


"......I turned up bright, fresh and starving first thing in the morning for a fasting blood test......."

Blood test? I don't believe a word of it. A prescribed 12 hour fasting can only mean one thing at the NHS - 50 kilos of video-enabled cold, hard steel shoved so far up your fundament they'll be able to tell if you flossed recently.

Don't kid a kidder, Scary.