Why did nobody tell me about Minnie Mouse dying? I had to find out about it on Facebook of all places.
Why - we ask - is he feeling so guilty?
How many times have we seen loved ones giving birth to dogs, leading to a tale of tragedy and woe? Too many times, that's how many.
I think I speak for us all when I say: RIP MINNIE MOOSE U ARE WIV DA ANGLES IN HEVEN WIV DIANA AND CECIL THE LOIN. AND ALSO CILLA AND THE QUENE MUM GOD BLESS HER.
I am not mad.