Friday, March 30, 2012

On not having an Oyster Card

It is rare, these days, that I use this site to make an overtly political statement. Back in the early years of this blog, I showed a distinct left-wing bias, but the politics have been slowly squeezed out in favour of the more observational funny.

That is, until now.

FOUR POUNDS THIRTY? Four quid thirty for a single ticket on the London Underground?

FOUR POUNDS AND THIRTY OF THE QUEEN'S PENCE to travel a mere four (count 'em) FOUR stations, because my travel needs are so casual and so not-London-based that I don't actually possess an Oyster Card. What kind of image does this portray to visitors and tourists, eh? A rip-off, that's what.

Screw you, Boris. I hope you choke on the caviar that my FOUR POUNDS THIRTY paid for, you posh, tousel-haired NOBBER. You're supposed to be encouraging casual users onto the London Underground, not scaring them away. NOBBER.

FOUR POUNDS THIRTY? Even the station staff thought it was an outrage.

£4.30? If I didn't have a spacked ankle, I'd kick your arse.

In the interests of political balance: Other London mayoral candidates are available, and may also be nobbers.

*Takes a look at list of candidates* Yes, they are all nobbers. Best of luck, London.

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