It's Monday morning, you're in a hurry to get to the station, but you've also got to pay some money into the bank, because you don't fancy paying out another twenty quid for a computer-generated overdraft letter.
The Gods of Bank smile upon you. There are only three people in front of you.
Doom! The Gods of Bank like a good laugh as much as the next deity, and it's not often that you see a wheelbarrow full of small change in a bank.
Alas, all three in the queue appear to be the socially and financially inept change booth ladies from local amusement arcades, cashing up for the entire summer.
Ah yes, as much fun as you can eat for a sackful of 2p pieces. I even won a nice key ring in the shape of TV's Wellard from EastEnders, that's how classy these establishments are. And these are the only places in the world were people get genuinely exicted to win a knock-off cuddly Pokemon on one of those crane machines.
Remind me - why, exactly did I think moving to a seaside resort would be A Good Thing?
Relief agencies are being denied access to the civilians of Falluja by US armed forces.
Says an American spokesman [Marine Colonel Mike Shupp, you too your name is going in ze book] : "There is no need to bring supplies in because we have supplies of our own for the people."
In other words, they'd rather the Red Crescent [Red Cross] were not involved.
By happy coincidence, Baghdad Airport has just re-opened, once more allowing foreign journalists and observers into Iraq. It closed just before the Falluja offensive kicked-off.
Something to hide, Uncle Sam?