It's a little known fact that Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat can trace his family roots back exactly one generation to a tenement block in Glasgow. Alas, "Jimmy" McArafat, ye shall ne'er know freedom for your beloved Scotch people. The noo.
Ah, what the hell, there's always the Thursday McVote-o to look forward to. And as I'm feeling particularly generous, there's a whole seven stories to choose from:
The Celebrity Collection
* The Elton John story - Mary had a little lamb
* The Kate Winslet story - And it was always gruntin'
* The Duke of Kent story - So she tied it to a five-bar gate
* The Uri Geller story - And kicked the little ...umm... runt in
* Octopus - I hope you people realise how difficult it is
* Diet Club - to think of funny crap to stick here every week
* The Great Chair Race - Send. More. Fish.
Vote, sir, or FEAR THE WELLO!