Electricity salesmen: Must die. In a large vat, along with town centre charity muggers.
"Red or Blue?" he said on his Wednesday evening visit.
"What?" I replied, somewhat taken aback by this nonsensical opening gambit.
"Red or Blue? Liverpool or Chelsea?" asked the grinning fool.
"I don't care. Also: who are you?"
"Ah," he said, somewhat confused that the matey approach wasn't working, "Have you thought of changing to Southern Electricity?"
On Thursday, he was back again, and straight to the point.
“Have you considered changing your electrical supplier?”
Friday, and somehow, he is still alive.
“Ha. Ha. I’m not a politician you know. Ha. Ha.”
“Oh for the love of shit…”
“Have you cons…”
“..idered changing your…”
“…to Southern Electricity.”
“Yeah, alright then.”
God, I hope he comes back. This is fun.
Best opening line ever written, ever: "The first time I ever had French toast, it was made for me by a man in a rubber maid's dress."
Somebody, somewhere - please give Green Fairy an incredibly highly paid writing gig. Now.