Election News: Part the Last

Election News: Part the Last

I love glorious failure, so it came as a bit of a surprise to see a candidate in my very own constituency – David Marchesi of the Socialist Labour Party – polling a whole 25 votes in the election. Unfortunately for David, he had neglected to fill in his party’s name on the nomination form, so the electorate at large had no idea who he was. Even the Wessex Regionalists and the Cannabis Smokers Alliance beat him.

[Incidentally, Ed on the Farm also had a Cannabis Alliance candidate standing in his area. Not seeing too much of him on the campaign trail, he rang him up and asked if he should vote for him. "Whatever."]

Casting around the nation, I came across Julian Brennan, an Independent standing against Tony Blair in Sedgefield who managed an exciting seventeen votes, beating by four votes the anti-war candidate that stood against Margaret Thatcher in 1983.

However, the top prize goes to Catherine Taylor-Dawson of the Vote for Yourself Rainbow Dream Ticket Party, who managed to confuse the electorate with a series of bizarre websites and by standing in four Cardiff constituencies at once. Funded by one-time friend of Peter Cook, the eccentric Rainbow George Weiss (himself standing – and losing his deposit - in 13 constituencies), Miss Taylor-Dawson polled respectable figures in three of her seats. Except Cardiff North, where she got one vote. One.

Let us consider this. To stand for parliament, you need two things: five hundred pounds and the signatures of ten people on the local electoral roll. You can safely assume, then, at least ten votes, plus yourself if, by happy coincidence, you live in said constituency. Unfortunately, Miss Taylor-Dawson lives in Cheshire, so that’s one vote gone up the swanee already; and ninety per cent of her support managed to get themselves completely off message. One vote should be impossible, but she managed it. We salute her.

Gert at Mad Musings reports on rumours of a Veritas candidate getting no votes at all in Chester. Although, I'd really like this to be true, just to wipe the smug smile off Kilroy-Silk's orange face, it appears there was some sort of Tory/UKIP/Veritas deal that led to our man's late withdrawal. Cobblers.

This is Catherine Taylor-Dawson, chantoose and part-time politician. I’d "vote"* for her.

* give her one**
** vote