On having to come up with a Thursday Vote-o at the last minute

On having to come up with a Thursday Vote-o at the last minute

There's a lot of new readers here today, thanks to the marvellous Kim du Toit and his generous linkage. And here I am, completely unprepared from the crowds, busy as I am with pretending to be Dear Leader Kim Jong Il for fun and profit.

Thursdays round here are a bit different. It's when I drop everything and hold a mockery of the democratic process of the type last seen in the Russian presidential elections to choose which Tale of Mirth and Woe will appear tomorrow. Many of these tales involve nudity, vomit or scatological references of a kind that celebrated wit Oscar Wilde could only dream.

Choose then, from the following, leaving your choice in the Spicy Brains comment box. The vote-o quote-os this week are drawn from the latest Scaryduck Tourist Guide to London. Please to add more, while you're here.

- Shandy: Turn up early at Westminster Abbey for daily readings from The Da Vinci Code. Tom Hanks makes an effort to be there every day, 7.30am sharp, often disguised as a nun

- Top Gun: The glass in the London Eye is actually a one-way mirror, so nobody will notice if you need to relieve yourself in a corner

- Upside down: Get a 50% discount at Harrods by saying the secret pass code to any cashier: "Actually, they were killed by a drunk driver"

- Wem-ber-ley: Try the guided tours to the famous police headquarters at New Scotland Yard. Backpackers particularly welcome!

As the used to say in Northern Ireland: Vote early! Vote often!