I appear to have grown a few extra readers on account of that whole award thing, so – thanks to a bit of prodding by the internet's Cliff Jones and TV's Mr Angry – it might be time to update the 100% truthful 'Who The Blummin' Hell Is This Asshat?' FAQ.Besides, who better to talk about on here than The World's Most Excellent Person In The Universe, EVER?
Sadly, Ace Rimmer couldn't make it, so here are some things you should know about that Scaryduck chap instead:
1. This blog started on February 6th 2002, so that's seven years of my life gone that I won't see again. I took the leap from unfunny Arsenal fansite owner to unfunny blogger because TV's Wil Wheaton told me it would be "a blast". Stupid, excellent Wheaton.
2. I also owe a debt of thanks to radio's Danny Baker, the internet's Danny Kelly and TV news' Richard Lister for inadvertently encouraging me to write this stuff.
2-and-a-bit. I accidentally won the Guardian's best blog award several years ago. To avoid humiliation, and realising that I had already peaked, I volunteered to be on the voting panel the following year. I was the only panellist not to vote for that Belle de Jour bloke.
2-and-three-quarters. Dave de Jour got a bloody massive book contract and a TV series starring William 'Billie' Piper as Dave. I did not. I am not bitter about this AT ALL
3. TV's Anita Roddick said I was "a better writer than Jeffrey Archer". She is now dead.
4. TV's Lenny Henry said this site was "the best blog in the universe" and he is now crapping himself.
5. TV's Ricky Gervais is my mother-in-law's son-in-law's brother, or something. Which means he is either my sister or blogging deep, deep undercover somewhere in West London
6. I am English, Welsh, Irish, Jewish and French with a Scottish name. I once walked into a bar and the landlord said "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
7. The once funny Scaryduck blog (© 'Spikes' Walker) has also been accidentally nominated for a number of national and international blogging awards (usually in the 'Weird Shit' category), but the author clearly didn't sleep with the right people.
8. I have a book that is EXCELLENT (and still available). I also have three half-finished book manuscripts and a half-finished pilot for a radio sitcom which are also EXCELLENT and would make a superb addition to the output of any top quality publishing house or large broadcasting organisation hem hem passing media types hem hem.
9. Yes, the stories on my site ARE true. Mostly.
10. Me. Me, me, me, me. Smug. ME. ME. How was your day?
51 comments:
11. *cough Wishlist cough*
Or too obvious for a first date with your new readers?
Get over yourself. I prefer Jeffrey Archer's blog.
Turd.
FFS, Debster
Fifth is the new T U R D, anyway.
You forgot that Pseudonymph also has a half finished manuscript.
Would you really want a tv show of people being sick inna hedge? Oh wait, bindun (Brainiac science abuse)
I done a LOL. You did not MAKE me do a LOL. The LOL was inside me all along, and your words were merely a trigger to that LOL.
No references to being sick-inna-hedge? Surely in current financially-strained circumstances, being sick-inna-hedge-fund might be useful?
Personally I reckon it's the quality of the spicey brains that packs 'em in.
Well, apart from that Julia woman, obviously.
Sick inna hedge features in my recently uploaded batch of photos on FB. And Debster, I have a FULLY FINISHED manuscript which has been submitted to a publishing house for DOLLARZ. Those plane flights aren't getting any shorter, you know.
God, that sounded hideously like Julian Meteor. I'm sorry, everyone.
And Jeremy Kyle's
The jigsaw is FULLY FINISHED!!!
I AM Pseudonympth!!!!!!! lol
Maybe, Julian. Pretty sure I'm a full-time female, though.
And write out 100 times 'pseudoNYMPH'
Giving out lines? He will have to fit them in with his geography homework, you know.
Scary: You forgot to mention that I once looked after your blog while you swanned off to Spain for two weeks.
And I've done a book with Terry Pratchett.
That's sort of a famous connection thingy, isn't it?
@Misty: I also remember you changing my template pink while I was away.
OWL NEWS
It doesn't say if the owl survived or not. Or even if it used a bazooka.
Pseudonymph: don't bother. he still can't get the spelling of my name right after how many weeks.
Either he is the thick twat half of us think he is, or he is the ignorant, offensive twat the other half think he is.
Tzonar.
Zontar - thanks for that. ;-) And you're right on both counts.
Misty, that's "Psir Pterry" to you, you disrepectful slattern.
Scary: I only changed the template because that it what your beloved readers wanted me to do. You really think the kittens were my idea?
Cenred: Psorry. I shall flagelate myself with wet celery as atonement, akay?
I sense war is coming.
Pseudo: Zontar. Like that one :).
Misty: don't! you'll only excite him.
Tzonar.
Makes you sound like a super galactical overlord person.
Tzonar: I think 'Zontar' sounds most excellent as well :)
And I'm not trying to excite him, honest. I'm simply not going to take the blame for the kittens.
or the extra links on his sidebar.
Amyway, he should think himself lucky I didn't go along with Rik's idea.
Zontar would be like the cooler, older sibling to Zoltar.
Is there anything else we should know about SD?
Is that the real Pseudonymph? I think not.
Zontar lol.
SD - more kittens plz.
Ladies and pooves - plz to look at http://www.flickr.com/photos/grangeb7/ where you will see something to your advantage. Probably.
Is is me Debster. I have on my sexshy glasses to enable computer literacy.
Over-lady Zontar. Marvellous.
Tz
Me? I'm booked on 'Nightwash Live' on March 9th. A comedy show that, out of all of you, probably only German Tony will have heard of, and will have the rest of you looking up "oxymoron". (german comedian?)
Nevertheless, currently peaking on the Stephen Fry level of smug self-satisfaction.
My biggest claim to fame is that I have slept with myself on numerous occasions.
And yes, each time was fantastic.
Honestly! I go away for five minutes (well, six months) and everybody starts doing books and being famous.
Looks like I'm going to have to get writing again to keep up.
Kaptain Von: please please please write something else on your blog. I've missed you.
Tz.
Pseudonymph - glad to hear it. What with the rash of people saying they are or are not other people, I thought you might be some kind of pseudo pseudonymph. Especially as this morning you posted without a picture and then during what should be your bedtime you posted with one.
Kaptain Von - yes plz. Almost given up looking at your blog due to lack of postiness.
Steve, make sure you remind me clsoer to the time & I'll tune in, just so you know that at least 1 person in audience is getting the jokes.
German T
shit
I see potty mouth is back.
Surely that is one of the main raisins detre of this blog? Poo woe?
I sleep with myself EVERY night and it is EXCELLENT.
I also just finished a show with NATIONALLY FAMOUS PEOPLE.
Which means none of you lot have every heard of them, except perhaps Erin.
*sigh*
It's lonely here at the end of the world.
It's lonelier here at the bottom of the world, Dawn. Thankfully there is the internet to keep me in touch with what is happening in civilisation. Still, at least I'm not in Adelaide.
How exciting! Who else was there, other than Mary W?
End of the world vs bottom of the world? Dawn, the Rock isn't that bad, is it?! ;)
As for the bottom of the world - you made our news the other night. All that nice weather in Melbourne. Not to mention the not-so-nice man and his 4 month old today. Let's hope tomorrow's better, eh?
Erin - they're calling it Melburn now. But we are well used to bushfires here and just get over it with sensible scrub clearing and you-beaut water bombers. But the little girl - tragic. They want to put barricades up at huge cost to stop this happening again, but the money will not bring her back, and would be better spent in improving communication and outcomes in the family court for separated couples. Child killings by a parent are almost always the result of a family court dispute, and usually against the father. Just because someone stops being a good husband, doesn't mean they're not a great father, as well. Personally if I had sole custody of my kids, I would need a break on occasion, and who better than their Dad.
/off soapbox now
Agree totally, Pseudonymph.
Sure relationships end, sometimes acrimoniously, but children should NEVER be used as leverage to hurt someone. It's just wrong in SO many ways...
Thank you Isolator. And I am a wommin with a rational opinion on an emotive subject. Who'd have thought?
Pseudonymph - I agree. He may also have been just plain seriously, mentally ill in addition to being screwed around in the courts/divorce. In either case, putting up barricades isn't the answer. If you're that distressed, or whatever you want to call it, you'll just do it another way. There's a lot more to that one than what we heard on the news. There's background - always is.
咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,
做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, aaaa片, 免費聊天, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,
言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,
免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,
百家乐 轮盘 21点 德州扑克 百家乐系统 真人娱乐场 百家乐足球德州扑克 电子游戏 英格兰超级联赛 德国甲组联赛 意大利甲组联赛西班牙甲组联赛法国甲组联赛欧冠杯 英超 足球比分 足球彩票 体育彩票 即时比分 免費a片 a片 免費av 色情影片 情色 情色網 色情網站 色情 成人網成人圖片成人影片 18成人 av av女優avav女優性 情慾 走光 做愛 sex H漫 情色 情趣用品 情色 a片 a片 成人網站 成人影片 情趣用品 情趣用品アダルトアダルト アダルトサイト アダルトサイト 情趣用品
免費a片 a片 免費av 色情影片 情色 情色網 色情網站 色情 成人網成人圖片成人影片 18成人 av av女優avav女優性情慾 走光 做愛 sex H漫 情色 情趣用品 情色 a片 a片 成人網站 成人影片 情趣用品 情趣用品アダルトアダルト アダルトサイト アダルトサイト 情趣用品
補正下着
Post a Comment