Monday, January 19, 2009

On Roffle Harris

On Roffle Harris

I'm Jake the Peg
Iddle iddle iddle um
With the extra leg
Iddle iddle iddle um


So sang TV's Rolf Harris in his hit song about an unfortunate man's life with an additional limb.

Or did he?

Far from being a ditty about the eponymous Jake's struggles through life where the only benefit is getting a free parking space in the centre of town, the song - it emerges - has an entirely different meaning altogether.

In fact, if we refer to the original version, released at last under a Freedom of Information request, we hear the stark truth about this particular hit song, along with the first recorded use of now-familiar 'l33t speak'.

I'm Rolf the Harris
And I am excellent
I've got an enormous pecker
LOLOLOL


With the rest of the - frankly, unprintable - lyrics bragging on how Mrs Harris walks like John Wayne after a week in the saddle, and how he once poked the Australian Cultural Attache's eye out at an offical barbecue when a pretty lady hove into view at an inopportune moment.

No wonder - with the frightening Mary Whitehouse on the rampage - the young Rolf decided to hide the real meaning of the song behind a comedy pair of trousers and a shoe tied to his bell-end.

"Can you tell what it is yet?" TV's Rolf Harris asks us.

"Yes, Rolf," we reply, "Yes we can."

Don't get me started on Two Little Boys.


Dead Pool: Transfer window now open.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

First and teh bestest song eva.
Just wonderful for driving parental units insane on a long drive.

Debster said...

But the subject matter worries me after yesterdays comments. Is JM really SD in disguise?

Scaryduck said...

TURD!

Also:

Meteor streaks across Sweden - one arrested

Scaryduck said...

Also also: No, I am not related to J. Meteor.

Today's post was - in fact - written last Friday after a particularly vivid and disturbing dream.

Julian Meteor said...

Third - LEG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Julian Meteor said...

I think the fact we just posted at EXACTLY the same time (thus DAMAGING my jotd chances) proves we're not the same person.

Debster said...

Or you are a quick typist ...

Debster said...

see?

Anonymous said...

Just what I was thinking Debster.

SD/JM has been outed

Squeakypony said...

Debster - Aaaah HA! A Jekyll and Hyde thing where the intelligent and articulate (if a bit poo obsessed) man about town, Scary, pops out the shed and seconds later the boofheaded pain in the arse, tramp, JM, exits to poor a bit of misery onto the blog. JM then returns to the shed, where Scary exits seconds later.

Hey, I may be wrong, but has anybody actually ever seen Scary and Julian together at the same time ... Debster, you are onto them / him.

Squeakypony said...

Re: Roffle Harris - the guy who shines shoes at the train station could be in for the shock of his life.

No Good Boyo said...

He is and was a Welsh. Once again, a nation ap-ologises.

Anonymous said...

Sod it, I'll have to stay anon then.

Does this sudden, unexpecteted anonimity = I can be ruder about Julia now?

Debster said...

Cant we all?

Owls.

isolator42 said...

"streaking across Sweden"?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7836656.stm

Something you want to tell us, JM?

Pseudonymph said...

At least Rolf had something to sing about. Here at DisneyHell, none of these characters seem to have genitals at all.

#Debi said...

Debster: I doubt JM is quick at anything. Well, maybe one thing...

Debster said...

Assuming he has actually tried it ...

Tzonar said...

The nearest he's ever got has been the pictures in the science books at school.

Julian Meteor said...

I THINK I know what you're talking about and this MUST stop.

Wokka said...

Which is what you hear every night ROLF LOL Let us KNOW

Steve Dix said...

I used to have a Rolf Harris TV annual when I was very, very young. It had Rolf on the front with Coojee Bear. It also had Tinga and Tucker in it.

It disappeared mysteriously.

I would like to know where it went.

amicirichard said...

A classic Rofle Harris moment, Stairway To Heaven 'Live' is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgsH1pdWJ84&feature=related

Richard said...

I remember an old colleague who had served in the forces talking about "being rolfed". I thought it sounded like something involving a third appendage until he explained that it meant painting any exposed part of a deeply sleeping soldier.

Scaryduck said...

S. Dix: Probably the same place my mint collection of early Viz comics went. Not mentioning any names.

Joy said...

I can't think about SD and JM being the same person! Oh the horror!!

Kim du Toit said...

None of the above comments made any sense to me, whatsoever.

I panicked, then had a brace of stiff gins.

Then all was made clear.

My fault for wandering into Chez Canard Affreuse, sober.

The Wrath of Dawn said...

*wibble*

Scaryduck said...

Ah! Mr du Toit! I trust you are enjoying retirement.

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