On the evil menace in our midst
A recent Dorset Echo report about crims on the rampage around our part of Weymouth reveals a sad truth: Our local copper is no longer the fantastically named hero of the Dorset Constabulary PC Rick O'Shea.
I gather our men left for pastures new some time ago, and have been replaced by a new man pounding the beat on the mean streets of Weymouth: PC James Bond.
It is good – in these days of restricted budgets and heightened terror alerts – to see MI6 allowing one of their top agents time off from saving the world from the menace of SPECTRE to put the kybosh on the local hoodies.
Unless – of course – our local gang of wannabe bad boys the Wykeside Crew are in with SMERSH, then we're really in the shit. Chaos, destruction, death to spies - and all on our very doorstep.
Any organisation that promises dread retribution at the hands of the head of the Catholic Church ("dont mees wid wykeside! or ul get poped! blud") needs the immediate attention of top, TOP intelligence operatives.
Get in there, Bond. Dangerous times need men like you.