A Saturday day-trip finds us – once again - in dog crap capital of the world Southampton.After the ill-advised purchase of a T-shirt in The Gap ("You DO know what GAP stands for, don't you Dad. And that shirt's virtually pink") the boy Scaryduck Junior and I find ourselves waiting outside clothes shops whilst the female members of our post-nuclear family purchase a hoodie.
That's a hoodie top, by the way, and not –as you might suspect, a feral youth with a flicky, innit.
Of course, Duck's law of shopping tells us that this will most certainly mean a wait of several hours, so the lad and I window shop, and – at length – find ourselves outside the Southampton branch of the Build-a-Bear Workshop, the retail world's premier over-priced soft toy emporium.
"Isn't that the place where you can record your own voice box?"
And:
"Hey! They've got owls!"
And:
"Hey! His head spins all the way round, just like in The Exorcist!"
And:
"Ooh look – there's the machine where you can record your own voice box."
"Well, don't just stand there. Press the button and say something."
And one thing led to another.
We are now the proud owner of a 14-inch tall cuddly owl.
A cuddly owl that says "Your Mum".
"Your mum's so fat, other mums orbit around her."
This cannot end well.
15 comments:
Owls? That's a bit tempty fatey isn't it?
Expect to see the AntiMeteor anytime soon?
You see? And the afternoon could have turned out to be an expensive waste of time had you not put in a little effort.
And you can buy something similar in certain suburbs here. It says 'Yo Mutha'.
Does Julian's head spin right round as well?
Like a record, baby, right round round round.
What does GAP stand for?
You paid £15.00 for that? Why, Dimmi, why?
Oh, right. So you could record 'Your mum's so fat, other mums orbit around her' - hope it brings many hours (or at least £15.00 worth) of fun, and dare I say, pleasure?!
Squeakypony, you could try http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gap
So what have you named the owl then?
Oh wow.
I've just had a look at the website.
I reckon a bunny that makes an owl sound would be excellent!
Oh, and I want a Hello Kitty that swears.
I would have recorded the message "Owl be back"
Who? Who?
my favourite 'your mum' goes thus;
'your mama's so fat, when she wore a Malcom X t-shirt a helicopter tried to land on her'
*bows* I thank you
I thought you were a Weymouth based Duck? Why come all that way for the perpetual disapointment that is Scumhampton?
Surely there must be a more local outlet of overpriced shite near you...
Of course, i'm just jealous...I have no choice. I spent half my Sunday in the Big Blue Box next door to the West Quay, and had my wallet raped. Woe indeed
Well if that doesn't tempt Julian out, I'm not sure what will...
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