On one thing leading to another
A Saturday day-trip finds us – once again - in dog crap capital of the world Southampton.
After the ill-advised purchase of a T-shirt in The Gap ("You DO know what GAP stands for, don't you Dad. And that shirt's virtually pink") the boy Scaryduck Junior and I find ourselves waiting outside clothes shops whilst the female members of our post-nuclear family purchase a hoodie.
That's a hoodie top, by the way, and not –as you might suspect, a feral youth with a flicky, innit.
Of course, Duck's law of shopping tells us that this will most certainly mean a wait of several hours, so the lad and I window shop, and – at length – find ourselves outside the Southampton branch of the Build-a-Bear Workshop, the retail world's premier over-priced soft toy emporium.
"Isn't that the place where you can record your own voice box?"
"Hey! They've got owls!"
"Hey! His head spins all the way round, just like in The Exorcist!"
"Ooh look – there's the machine where you can record your own voice box."
"Well, don't just stand there. Press the button and say something."
And one thing led to another.
We are now the proud owner of a 14-inch tall cuddly owl.
A cuddly owl that says "Your Mum".
"Your mum's so fat, other mums orbit around her."
This cannot end well.