School half-term, and somebody with their heart - but not necessarily mind - in the right place is trying to think up things for the kiddiewinks to do to save the town from being completely and utterly destroyed by rampaging urchins.
And so, as night follows day, this appears in the local press:
"Free circus skills workshop"
Unless these skills involve effective means of clown assassination, I am not interested.
Somebody, please, think of the kiddiewinks.