Dogston "Beakface" O'Hanrahan, dog around town of the canine variety. OR SO WE THOUGHT.
has come to our attention that our dog may - if fact - be a cat of the
feline variety. The evidence has been slow to manifest itself, but it is
clear for all to see, and I am afraid to say that he IS a cat, and just
our luck to find out just as the money-back guarantee runs out.
Let's have a look, shall we?
* Falls over in the most unconvincing way possible
- every time he gets out of bed. Every time he goes outdoors. There he
is, doing the "dead ant" in the most unconvincing way possible. Only the
cunning mind of a cat would come up with such a ruse. I really must
upload a video of Dogston falling over while doing a poo, because that
is the funniest thing in the world, but means I have to video Dogston
having a poo.
* Eats fish - his food of preference in rice kibble WITH FISH. Like a cat.
* Sleeps all the time, except to eat - CAT
* Sleeps with one eye open - CAT QED
* Does not chase other cats - CAT
* Was once described by a small yellow bird as "I tawt I taw a puddy tat" - CAT
* Runs away from other dogs - Like a CAT
* Forgets himself when tired and says miaow - the language of CAT, if I am not mistaken
* Doesn't like being scratched - LIKE A CAT
* This picture clearly shows him up a tree - LIKE A CAT
* Wears a zip up dog suit
* Is actually a cat
I am not mad. But he is a cat.