Friday, November 02, 2012

The Worst Invention in the World

Finding myself stuck in rush-hour traffic on a nightmare drive into work the other morning, I find myself looking up the exhaust pipe of the slow-moving lorry in front of me, rapidly changing my mind over what is the worst invention in the history of humanity.
Some say it is nuclear weapons and nerve gas. Others say it is those workplace toilet roll dispensers that bite your fingers and prevent you from stealing the toilet paper. Still more might look you in the eye and say "Farmville".

These people are wrong. 
Because the world's resources aren't precious enough as it is
Because we're not pumping enough pollution into the atmosphere
Because our civilisation isn't bombarded with enough marketing

The truck whose sole existence is to do nothing more useful for society than to drive around already busy streets with an advertisement on its back.

I think I speak for the whole of humanity when I say that the people behind this outrage should be fed to hungry sharks, the sharks blasted out of a cannon at a wall, and the wall stuffed up Banksy's arse as a piece of installation art. And I'd be right.

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