Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Guilty Pleasures: Rubbish music TV countdown shows

I've got a new guilty pleasure. It's switching to virtually any music TV channel and watching their countdown of (and the name never varies) Top Twenty Bump'n'Grind R'n'B classics. Because that's all they ever show these days.

Some of these programmes are called [Latest Reality TV star]'s Top Twenty Bump'n'Grind R'n'B classics, because even reality TV stars have opinions, right? 

Marvel at identikit videos of gold-encrusted R'n'B performers singing their latest song of sexual triumph, vocodered to Hell and back, whilst an army of scantily-clad young ladies rotate in the background, foreground and middle-ground.

Then there are a number of advertisements, followed by another stupendously expensive video where a gold-encrusted R'n'B performer sings his latest song of sexual triumph, accompanied in his struggle through life by an army of scantily-clad, rotating young ladies.

Sometimes these videos are not set in a night club, and appear to take place in the back of a TARDIS-like limo, or in a warehouse where a large party is taking place, or on a beach which suddenly morphs into a night club party, before the TARDIS-like limo turns up.

Some of the performers are now dead, or have convictions for beating their partners.
This post - in retrospect - marks the line where I am officially old.

No comments: