A nice man from the United Nations writes to me:
Subject: The Honesty Payment for your Patriot Act !Wow. One of these emails has to be genuine. Perhaps it is this one. No point beating about the bush, best I hit him with a reply:
I obtained your contact through the secret database of foreigners who are owed vast sums of money by the African Governments, the Central Bank and by individual Banks and institutions.
I have put in place a system to pay you immediately without request for UPFRONT fees or charges from you. This is important because having been disappointed in the past,I know you will not cooperate if upfront fees are involved in this transaction. THE ONLY THING I REQUIRE FROM YOU IS COMPLETE SECRECY AND CONFIDENTIALITY! YOU MUST NOT DIVULGE THIS PLAN TO ANY ONE, EVEN YOUR PARTNERS.
Therefore please keep faith with me, this money sum of $2.5Million will be transfer to you through an Atm card. I will do this VIA the Uba Africard Visa-Card ATM Cashing Card and in full compliance with the Patriot Act.
The ATM can be sent to you in two ways; One, by ordinary express mail; This method will take from 2 weeks to a month to reach you but it is NOT GUARANTEED! It is risky in that- the ATM could be stolen at any point in its movement to your address! Especially in the corrupt post Office system of Republic Du Benin here ...The second method is by DHL courier service, and it is safe, guaranteed and fast; the ATM card will get to you in 4/5 days.
Mr.Ibeh John Llb Hons
Debt Settlement and Finance
UNITED NATION/ECOWAS Sub-Headquarters
My Dear Mr.Ibeh John Llb HonsYES! The deal is still on.
I need your advice! I have not told anybody about your AMAZING plan, but on reading your email out loud in the privacy of my own home, my pet parrot overheard and won't stop saying "secret database of foreigners who are owed vast sums of money by the African Governments", "corrupt post office system" and "Mr.Ibeh John Llb Hons" at the top of his squawk. I think the postman might have heard him this morning. Is the deal still on?
Your new pal
Albert O'Balsam SSC BSC
Mr. Albert O'BalsamYeah, there seem to be one or two local difficulties. Best ask if they can help me out:
Paper (ex. Ordering Checks): $2.5Million
Electronic (ex. Direct Deposit/Automatic Payment):$2.5Million
ATM INSTALLED AMOUNT:$2.5Million
You should send us your Dhl account so that we can use it for sending the card to you.
The ATM card will get to you in 4/5 days, so you will provide your DHL account to the MR.David Hodonou to use on dhl for delivering the card to you.
Alternately: if you don't have an account with Dhl you're ought to send $64 for delivering the card to you, thus are the details you should use for sending the $64 through western union Or Money gram transfers.
Hot-line +229 93905641
Uba Africard .
Asia psf Bank net works Of ATM.Agent.
Dear DavidNOTHING CAN GO WRONG.
I presume you are part of this scheme with my new friend Mr.Ibeh John Llb Hons.
Oh, man. I don't have a DHL account. HOWEVER, I've got a Post Office Saver's Account with £13 16s 3d in it. Will that do?
Your new best pal
Albert O'Balsam BSC SSC