Wednesday, September 04, 2013

On wanting to be anywhere in the world that's not PC World

So I went out and bought a new laptop, my old one doing a reasonable impression of a brick. Like some sort of moron, I took myself to PC World, there being nowhere else in the Farnborough – Aldershot – Fleet Bermuda Triangle that sells computers, and was not surprised in the slightest at the following exchange.

PC World: "Would you like to buy Norton anti-virus?"

Me: "Err... no thanks. I'd rather eat my own foot."

PC World: "WHAT? You'd rather surf the internet without protection? ARE YOU MAD?"

Me: "No, I'm not a moron."

PC World: "But you'll be surfing the internet without protection. End times! Fire falling from the skies! Dogs and cats living together!"

(He might not have used such florid language)

Me: "Also, it's Windows 8. It comes with Microsoft's own anti-virus software as standard. So stop trying to sell me something I'll never need, because I am not a moron"

PC World: "Oh. Right."

Me: "In fact, just sell me the laptop and let me get out of here."

They sold me the laptop, and I got out of there feeling smug.

Then I got the thing home and the most important key on the keyboard (F5) fell off. So... back to a store where I had just insulted everybody to ask them for a replacement.

Pie has never tasted more humble.

(And credit to PC World, they were very nice about it)


Andy Todd said...

Should have bought a Mac. You get a better class of w*nker selling you that Apple gear.

Amanda Huggenkiss said...

I'm still trying to find the "ANY" key on my computer.

Audrey said...


Windows ffffffffffffffffkkkking 8!!!!!


(Guess who was at work an extra four hours last night trying to get someone's new Windows 8 laptop to connect to the wireless here...)

Joy Wodhams said...

I had a similar experience at PC World, probably worse because I'm a woman! (See Joy Wodhams Pollyanna Page (Computers, Male Store Assistants and Women, 13/06/13). The pressure was high and the condescension even higher!
Love your blog!

Richard said...


Don Gell said...

How did the F5 key fall off? Are you a bat?

TonyF said...

Went to PC world for a hard drive. Got one too, they sent me to Maplins...

TheFrogMask said...

Very funny post - thank you!