Thursday, July 06, 2006

The J. Ross Memorial Vote-o

The J. Ross Memorial Vote-o

“Hello, good evening and bollocks.

"Welcome to Fwiday Night with Jonathan Woss, this week’s hosts for the Scawyduck Thursday Vote-o. And without delaying the pwoceedings any further, my new house band, replacing the sadly fallen-under-a-twenty-thwee-bus Four Poofs and a Piano, the marvellously wivetting Tourette’s Male Voice Choir.

"Take it away, lads!"

* Blind Date: “I see the little silouette-o of a man, Scaramouch Scaramouch, can you REAM MY GRANNY UP THE WRONG ‘UN!”

* Take a Break: “Ground control to Major Tom the circuit’s dead there’s something wrong, can you SIT ON MY FACE YOU THRUSTING LOVE STUD”

* Swimming Gala: “It was twenty years ago today, that Sergeant Pepper taught a band to play WITH MY RAMPANT LOVE TRUNCHEON”

* First Aid: “My my! At Waterloo Napoleon did PISS ON MY WIFE’S TITS WHILE I WATCH”

“Stunning. Bwings a tear to my eye and justifies every penny of the twelve billion qwid they’re paying me for this cwap, allowing me and my impwessively endowed wife to indulge in our harmless naked money-fighting fetish.

“Oh yes, and wemember to vote Scary up. Whatever that means.”

No comments: