Thursday, July 13, 2006

Questions, questions again

Questions, questions again

A late entry from Tuesday's epic Questions, Questions post

When did you first realise you were destined for a job in the media?

* Initially, I put this down to being taken by my god-parents to visit BBC TV Centre at a very young age to witness the broadcast of a live Blue Peter from the studio gallery. However, being only five years old, the sight of Valerie Singleton’s back left me extremely non-plussed, and I made do with watching the whole programme, without sound, on a studio monitor. I was even more disillusioned by the Z-Cars studio, which looked like it had come out of a small box. Oh dear.

I think, then, I can put it down to a visit by some producer from All Creatures Great and Small to our school, who told us the ins-and-outs-and-outs-and-ins of Britain's favourite vet-based drama. He was, at one stage, asked the choice question "Did you get to stick your hand up a cow's arse?"

"Yes", he replied, "Yes, I did", and that was it. "Holy crap!" I shouted, somewhat involuntarily, and my future career was assured. In seventeen years working here, I haven't been anywhere near a cow, let alone got my hands on a spare set of udders. C'est, as they say, la vie.


Not the Thursday vote-o

Tomorrow's Scary Story is a true treat in the annals Mirth and Woe. You won't believe the time I spent knocking out the high-quality illustrations. You will, in fact, be amazed as red-hot metal crashes into low quality ceramic for your reading pleasure.

So, in lieu of a vote-o, let's finish something that Misty started by mistake the other day:

What would a TV advert about you be like?

"HI I'M BARRY SCOTT! I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT NEW CILLIT DUCK! This patented Scaryduck technology is guaranteed to give you a sex wee, or your money back"

Or, if you're squeamish, What SHOULD an advert for a celebrity of your choice be like?

"The England Football Team: Barely adequate for the job in hand."

Get in there!

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