Today, I cut my own hair. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is not something you should try in your own home. On the Scaryduck Good Thing/Bad Thing scale it's down there with playing catch with hand grenades. For a start, no matter how many mirrors you use, you are unable to see the back of your own head; and in all probability you have probably not spent several years of your life as The Incredible Double-Jointed Man in a circus freak show. There can only be one end result, and no matter how many people you tell, there is not a cat in hell's chance that the mullet will ever make a comeback.
After running, screaming, into the street a passing barber helped me out with a rather fetching number three. It's fuzzy, and Mrs Scary is now able to keep me out of harm's way with a handy piece of velcro. How handy.