Right, I’m begging for a favour. All-round harbinger of evil and fish, Moderately Evil Penguin, needs a name. A proper name that conveys everything that it is to be a slightly out-of-order flightless bird.
The thing is, Scaryduck Jr (aged six) has got me writing him Penguin Stories for bedtime, and frankly, Moderately Evil Penguin just isn’t the kind of moniker you have in kids’ stories. You can cook children alive in ovens, have people’s heads cut off, but give them a daft name, that’s when the parents start getting angry.
I’ve got sensible names for all the other penguins in the gang: Flossie, Mossie, Chunky, Trevor and Beans. But I’m having trouble coming up with a name for a spectacularly stupid and moderately evil penguin bent on taking over the planet’s fish supply, and then, who knows, the world.
I’m toying with Ming. Or Fishfinger. I know you can do better, post your suggestions in the “Speak Your Brains” section. Yeah, I know, “What’s in it for me?” Pie. Fish Pie.
Edit: You can now vote for your favourite crap penguin name. Over there. On the left.
Word of the day in Scaryduck Jr's handwriting class was "around". Operation Mess-With-Teacher's-Head came up with
Pollution, all around
Sometimes up, sometimes down
But always around
Pollution, are you coming to my town?
Or am I coming to yours?
We're on different buses, pollution
But we're both using petrol
Ryk the People's Poet, we salute you. The only trouble was, Ryk's masterpiece was far too long for the little darlings to write before the register was called. So we ended up with "I ran around the playground" like everybody else.