I was down our local fast-food emporium getting dinner the other night, when I got into an argument with the bloke behind the counter. He swore blind that he had a role in the multi-Oscar winning Lord of the Rings trilogy, while I countered that he was speaking through his hole.
Oh no! He replied, third row back, fourth along in one of them big battle scenes, that's him. Why then, I continued, are you now serving me cod and grease in a low quality eatery in Weymouth? We agreed to disagree on this point, but still ---
There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvish.
I'll get me coat.
To make up for that one, swallow this link to Goon Show Radio - all cardboard cut-out idiots, all the time.