Wednesday, March 10, 2004


Some damn fool asked me: Is Thierry Henry wasted in football? Ask a stupid question...

Henry is undoubtedly the greatest player ever to walk on a football pitch. Even better than Pele, Diego Maradona, Wayne Wanklyn and the legendary Charles "Charlie" Charles. I, for one, think he should be doing more than playing football for a couple of hours a week, like fighting crime whilst wearing his pants outside his trousers. He could even use flamboyant Robert "Je suis un footballeur" Pires as his sidekick, defeating bad guys with his unusual facial hair.

In a world of super villains like George Bush, Michael Jackson, David Pleat, Beyonce and the biggest villain of them all, Rupert Murdoch, who, as we speak, is planning to turn over Fort Knox with an army of page three stunnas, the planet needs a superhero that can catch bad guys using only his knowledge of the offside rule and mind-blowing keepy-uppie skills. And since the sad demise of Gazza-man and his not-too-trusty sidekick Five Bellies, catching villains under the influence of pie and ale, we have been crying out for a new superhero to keep us safe in our beds.

Only Va-Va-Voom Man can save us. And his trusty side-kick, Bob.

Err... I am not mad.

Update: Two goals for Va-Va-Voom Man tonight, then straight out to rescue a cat stuck up a tree. Yay!

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