Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Workplace Confessional

Workplace Confessional

Caught short on a night-shift and too far from the gents to be absolutely bothered, I have been known to relieve myself in plant pots. It's full of essential nutrients, and in a dry office environment they're thankful for any moisture they can get.

Alas, there was one occasion where a tea overdose and a lack of pot-plants led to my taking extreme measures. I feel that I should confess to wazzing in a coffee cup and throwing the contents out of the window. There was a lot of it, too - I filled the cup three times. All well and good, after all, it was three in the morning and no witnesses.

As the final golden shower slooshed its way down to the car park there was a cry of shock and alarm.

"Ooh!" it went, shocked and alarmed, "Ooh!"

What kind of security guard does his rounds at that time of the night* ?

Before I am forced to torture you with the comfy chair and the soft, soft cushions - what's the mankiest thing you've ever done at work?

* I should point out that this episode was in a previous employment, and was nothing to do with my current job. The place where I work now used to be a boarding school. It's got the graves of three former pupils in the grounds. Now that's what I call strict.

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