Monday, April 13, 2009

On things that are generally frowned upon by right-thinking people

On things that are generally frowned upon by right-thinking people

A list of things that are generally frowned upon by right-thinking people and tabloid newspaper editors, even if done for shits and giggles.

"You couldn't make it up!" – R. Littlejohn (Twat)

"I just did" – S. Duck (Genius)

* Firing golf balls from the first tee straight into the rotten, cinder-tracked heart of Weymouth Speedway.

* Asking for the 'meat option' at a vegetarian restaurant

* Driving up slowly to 'Yummy Mummies' on the school run, and asking them if they're 'looking for business'

* Walking into a newsagent and swapping all the top shelf titles for those on the bottom shelf

* Adding the secret ingredient to any unattended bread-making machine: Polyfilla

* Playing hide-and-seek whilst on a tourist visit to the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam

Come to think of it, that last one could actually be an excellent idea which the Frank people should take up if visitor numbers start to flag. For added realism, the 'seeker' is allowed to dress like Herr Flick, and one in every ten thousand kiddiewinks is dragged out, shot and flung into the canal.

Too far?

14 comments:

Squeakypony said...

Furst

Squeakypony said...

How about placing a Tescos bag of poo on the counter at McDonalds and asking for a refund?

p.s. You may have taken it too far with the canal bit.

Porridge said...

Third. Too far for who?

Debster said...

Writing a blog with not enough vomit and wanking woe?

Pseudonymph said...

Hide-and-seek at Anne Frank's house. Hell. You are going there. But I LOLed all the same.

Pseudonymph said...

Hide-and-seek at Anne Frank's house. Hell. You are going there. But I LOLed all the same.

Si said...

richard littlejohn is a cunt


Yes

Erin said...

I'd be careful, if I were you. Those Yummy Mummies have a nasty streak. A nasty streak you *wouldn't* like.

See you in Hell.

Emerson Marks said...

RE:....Driving up slowly to 'Yummy Mummies' on the school run, and asking them if they're 'looking for business'

I am digging that.

No Good Boyo said...

Calling up a Chapel of Rest and asking whether they do home deliveries.

The Wrath of Dawn said...

Yes. Too far.

As usual.

Which is why we all read this.

I hope you're using your vacation time wisely.*




*Composing new blog posts.

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