Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On getting grabbed by the ghoulies

On getting grabbed by the ghoulies

Who ya gonna call? These people, it turns out:

Dear Dorset Resident,

Do you believe your house or premises to be haunted? Ever experienced a ‘presence’, or unexplained sights or sounds? Witnessed something strange you can’t explain? Do you feel uneasy in your own home?

We are a Dorset based team of paranormal investigators who provide a free, dedicated professional paranormal investigation process. At the end of our investigation we present our findings in a comprehensive report. All investigations are conducted in the strictest confidence.

To book an investigation or for more information visit our website at www.dorsetparanormal.co.uk

Yours truly,

Dorset Paranormal Investigators



Dear Dorset Paranormal Investigators

We thought you'd be interested to hear about "Bobby", the ghost dog that lives in our house, and wondered if you might come along and take a look.

Please don't have him exorcised, or consigned to some dreadful eyeball-melting sub-level of Hell - we're just hoping somebody could teach him not to wipe his arse on the doormat.

Your pal,

Albert O'Balsam



Dear Mr O'Balsam

Thank you for your kind letter. We suspect your dog may have worms.

Regards

Dorset Paranormal Investigators



Dear Dorset Paranormal Investigators

Good Lord! It's worse than I thought: GHOST WORMS. Please sort this out at your earliest convenience. Bring a priest.

Your terrified pal,

Albert O'Balsam

No comments: