Who ya gonna call? These people, it turns out:Dear Dorset Resident,
Do you believe your house or premises to be haunted? Ever experienced a ‘presence’, or unexplained sights or sounds? Witnessed something strange you can’t explain? Do you feel uneasy in your own home?
We are a Dorset based team of paranormal investigators who provide a free, dedicated professional paranormal investigation process. At the end of our investigation we present our findings in a comprehensive report. All investigations are conducted in the strictest confidence.
To book an investigation or for more information visit our website at www.dorsetparanormal.co.uk
Yours truly,
Dorset Paranormal Investigators
Dear Dorset Paranormal Investigators
We thought you'd be interested to hear about "Bobby", the ghost dog that lives in our house, and wondered if you might come along and take a look.
Please don't have him exorcised, or consigned to some dreadful eyeball-melting sub-level of Hell - we're just hoping somebody could teach him not to wipe his arse on the doormat.
Your pal,
Albert O'Balsam
Dear Mr O'Balsam
Thank you for your kind letter. We suspect your dog may have worms.
Regards
Dorset Paranormal Investigators
Dear Dorset Paranormal Investigators
Good Lord! It's worse than I thought: GHOST WORMS. Please sort this out at your earliest convenience. Bring a priest.
Your terrified pal,
Albert O'Balsam
23 comments:
mmmm. Giant marshmallow men.
Second, whoooo-oooo-wo.
Are the Dorset Paranormal Investigators taking the piss? One knock means no, two mean yes.
What about a set of knockers? What does that mean?
GHOST TITS
I think you might have ghost comments here, all the ones above me should be exorcised so my comment is FURST!
Ghostbusting is a spectretator sport.
I aint afraid of no goat!
Phantom of the Plop Era.
I ain't afraid of no post!
's your own fault for dissing the Pope.
Some say he uses ulraviolet frequencies to create ghost worms. All we know is, he's called the Pope.
GT
In the future, he'll be the Space Pope.
Ghost worms - better or worse than live ones?
I suspect Albert O'Balsam may have a ghost writer...
I think the DPI should investigate this ad that I found in a shop window.
And also, Albert O'Balsalm's dog just needs excorsising.
That's a great ad Misty.
Now their contact mobile number is all over the Internet, they're bound to get loads of calls...
...maybe even some calls from people who aren't enormous perverts :)
Some say he sees only beige & that his nostrils can filter ectoplasm. All we know is he's called the Pope.
GT, again.
Okay seriously, why do all the "scary pictures" on their site look like people's attics with cum drops on them?
Dexter: Even ghosts need ...err... relief, y'know
Re Misty's ad...
Once (when I was enjoying the dizzy heights of being a hire 'em and fire 'em manager, I received a job app from someone who wrote on the form: "I've been on medication but I think I'm alright now."
"think" ?
BTW
"unexplained sights or sounds? Witnessed something strange you can’t explain? Do you feel uneasy in your own home? "
Oh yeah - my son's home from Uni.
isolator42: Just doing my bit to help them find a nanny that's not dead.
It's a tall order round these parts ;)
Chinook: Fabulous! Did you hire them then?
Misty, you're a martyr to the cause :)
Misty : Nope I didn't hire them. too scary. But I did once call someone in for an interview purely because her name was Brenda Shuttleworth and she listed 'fire eating' as a hobby. I just had to see her.
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