Monday, June 08, 2009

On Top Gear Facts

On Top Gear Facts

Here we go with another of our occasional series of 100 per cent of FACT facts*. This time, we're all about TV's favourite big boys club.

* May contain slight traces of lie

100 per cent of FACT factual picture of Top Gear presenters Hammond, Clarkson and Slow10. Some say The Stig is a number of established racing drivers taking part in the show anonymously. They're wrong. It's well-known hard man and brainbox Professor Stephen Hawking earning a few bob on the side

9. The result of his hideous jet car smash, Richard Hammond found himself split into 'good' and 'evil' versions of himself. Evil Hammond continues to host Top Gear, while his good self owns and operates the popular 'Compare the Meerkat' website

8. James May holds the world record for jumping over nuns in a steamroller – an impressive three-quarters of a nun, breaking Evel Knievel's long-standing record of half-a-nun set in 1973

7. Jeremy Clarkson's driving licence was obtained in the western Africa state of Sierra Leone, where the driving test consists of shouting the word "POWER!" at the top of one's voice.

6.66. Never seen from above, the Top Gear test track is in the shape of the number 666 – the MARK OF SATAN!

5. Clarkson's infamous 'Kill a prostitute' lorry-driver gag which caused a furore in the press was simply a cover for the fact that he had thirty-seven dead prostitutes in the back of his lorry at the time of filming. One for every time a prostitute has asked him if Lewis Hamilton is The Stig

4. In the French version of Top Gear, the 'reasonably-priced car' is a Citroen 2CV, and the fastest lap time (four hours, twenty-seven minutes) is held by Charles Aznavour, who walked

3. Jeremy Clarkson's favourite Top Gear episode is the one where he drove a Bugatti Veyron up Jimmy Carr's arse, with hilarious results. Sadly, it has never been repeated, not even on Dave

2. James May has a life-sized Saturn V rocket in his back garden, made entirely out of beer mats (may actually be true)

1. The Stig's previous TV work includes Jackanory (1973), Gilligan's Island (1965), stunt driver for On The Buses (1973 – the infamous 'scream if you want to go faster' episode) and the girl on the test card (1967-present)

Bonus FACT: Richard 'Hamster' Hammond gets his nickname not because of his diminutive appearance (he's 6' 5" – the camera angles just make him look smaller), but because he is incredibly good friends with Hollywood star and animal lover Richard Gere

16 comments:

Squeakypony said...

Furst!

Squeakypony said...

Excellent facts Scary.

Did you know - Richard Hammond wanted the show to be named after his incredibly good friend, Hollywood star and animal lover Richard Gere. But the powers that be said "Dick Gere" was not a suitable name for a automotive based light entertainment television show.

Squeakypony said...

Turd too.

p.s. It's nice to see the boys expanding their theatrical horizons now that they no longer star in "Last of the Summer Wine"

Anonymous said...

The hamster is current being seen on New Zealand television promoting hideously expensive mobile phone services. He is wearing far too much makeup in the ads. 100% fact

Uncle Audrey said...

Similarly Irish politician Dick Spring doesn't have his own TV show.

Aunty Brenda said...

I LOLled so much that coffee came out my nose.
Strange, as I haven't had any today. Nice to see the boys behaving themselves, but Squeakypony baggsing all top 3 places? I'm watching you...
Unlike, the Chaser, who no one is watching now...

Squeakypony said...

Sorry Aunty Brenda about baggsing all top 3 places.

p.s. I'm glad you didn't notice my baggsing furst over at Old and Busted Haloscan too, or I'm sure I'd be spiflicated.

p.p.s. Might be an idea to get the coffee nose dribble checked by your Doctor - could be the Brazilian Flu.

Rik said...

You forgot that Hammond's first ever radio interview involved old ladies and his large organ. *very true (it's in his book)

Si said...

Rik. that would be James May then?

Anonymous said...

I've seen a drawing of James May's Rocket in a toilet cubicle at Charing X station. He kindly left his phone number for enthusiasts to call him.

Pseudonymph said...

Eleventh. Or Eighth, if we don't count all Squeakypony's ones. Looks like someone has a public holiday today...
And Top Gear = Rot Page.

isolator42 said...

OK, so what have you all done with Julian?

Pseudonymph said...

Nothing. Certainly not what he's been asking us to do with him...

The Wrath of Dawn said...

isolator42: Ask not what has become of He Who Shall Not Be Named. We are not at liberty to say.

Pseudonymph said...

Is it a bit like Beetlejuice, where if you say it 3 times he shall appear? But no one is ever going to say MeteorMeteorMeteor, are they? Unless they happen to see 3 asteroid-like formations in the sky...

isolator42 said...

your answers cheer me greatly :) Long may it continue...